Happy 1st Birthday, Palmer!

Wow. We have been at this parenting thing for a year (plus a week). The week leading up to Palmer's birthday was bitter sweet. I reminisced about that week all week long. As much as I love this stage, I would go back to this time last year in a heartbeat. Yes, I am crazy. But I LOVED it. Was it hard? Ab.so.freaking.lutely. But I loved it & I miss the days when he was so stinking small and would just lay in my arms and we would snuggle all day long. Because those days are LONG gone and my heart literally aches for them. I *LOVED* having a Fall baby. LOVED it. If we are blessed enough to do this again, I hope it's in the fall. So needless to say, even though Palmer was all smiles the night before he turned one:

I was not. 

The morning of his birthday, he woke up about an hour after he officially turned 1. Mike had already left for work so I walked in and wished our one year old a very happy first birthday! Then it was the beginning of his birthday day!

For breakfast, we had Pumpkin Donuts

Then we played with spoons for the first time (yes, I know). After our nap, we met Grandma, Grandpa & Mason at Chick-Fil-A for a birthday lunch! Mason was so excited to be the only kid at "Palmer's Birthday  Party." Got to love 4 year olds. After lunch, Palmer had his first taste of ice cream!! 

Yum, yum!!

After lunch we went to the park for the first time (I know!) with Grandpa & Mason! He loved the swings!

That night, we finally had our 1 Year Pictures. They had been rescheduled twice because of the rain. 

      The Smash Cake was a success. 

After pictures we had dinner at Charandas, came home got a bath and lights out! This sweet one year old had a busy, fun first birthday!

AND a quick one year summary:

The last month has been so busy and you have been so "go with the flow!" Mommy left you for the first real time for 4 whole days. Your new things consist of TOUCHDOWN!, Big Boy, and being into literally EVERYTHING. You love testing your limits, are sweet as can be one minute and pushing the limits the next. You have begun throwing small fits when you don't get your way (yay), babble NON STOP, and love letting people hear you, especially in stores and restaurants. You live to torture Lizzie but are learning to be "gentle" and are obsessed with trying to eat her food and empty her water bowl. You LOVE to eat, and will eat anything we give you, and would eat all day if we let you. Watching you eat is still my favorite thing, that & your squeezable cheeks! You stand alone and will cruise everywhere but are still scared to take that first real step alone. You love to play, chase is your absolute favorite, and you are pretty easy to entertain, except for when you have your mind set to do something you're not supposed to do (cats food, liter box, push buttons on the cable box,  play with plugs & cords, play in the toilet, I could go on). It has been a busy, exciting month and year and I can't wait to see what the next month and year bring!

Happy Happy Birthday Sweet Boy! We love you as big as the sky!

Our First Week Home

So I know I'm doing a lot of "past" posts. But I really want this blog to be our family documentation. So I've decided to pepper in Palmer's first year of life with his second. And then next year, we'll be all caught up :) Bear with me, folks. {Most past posts will be picture drops}

So here was our first week at home. Our first night, Mike had to go to Durham for job interviews {insert reason #52739 why I hate Duke & despised the MBA program, regardless of what came out of it.} So it was just Mom, Palmer & I. And y'all, that first night was rough emotionally. Postpartum is REAL and it comes in SO many different shapes and sizes. I think if every woman to give birth were to be 100% honest, we've all had some form of it. Mine came from not having ANYTHING ready, I had to pump, had no clue how to put the pump together, the pump was dirty from sitting in a bag for who knows how long (yes, I bought a used pump, it worked, I got new parts, leave me alone), sleep deprivation, and my husband was gone. Oh, and my newborn was a freaking glow worm. Jaundice showed up our last day in the hospital & an hour after being home, the jaundice blanket guy showed up. Right when it was time to feed Palmer. Here's the thing about "36 weekers", which I wrote about here, they have a hard time latching & sucking. So getting Palmer to nurse was a task. Add in that I had to pump and the pump needed to be cleaned & I didn't know how to put it back together, and once I did, I leaked everything I pumped and mom spilt almost all of what didn't leak, I was a hot mess. And all of this happened as this stranger tried explaining this blanket to us. Oh that day was horrible. My neighbor came over & I cried. And cried. And cried. "I'm a bad mom, I have nothing ready, Mike isn't here, this is NOT how I expected our first night to be." Sob, breathe, sob. Postpartum isn't always not wanting to hold your baby. It is a big result of exhaustion, too. And at times you are so tired, you can't eat. So then your hungry. I got it together, eventually. I figured out the pump, the rest of the night and days to follow went well. I leaked a few more times, everyone came to visit on one day, the nursery got painted and got as put together as possible, I cried some more, figured out the adjusting of the tank top & pump to keep the pump from falling off my tank tops, Stacie showed up a week later to continue to help me really figure out the freaking dang pump, I got the right sizes for the pump, and eventually, we got rid of the Billiruben blanket & settled into life. Oh that first week was hard, but just like every week from then on, I wouldn't have traded it for anything. 

Glow worm: He learned all about sitting criss cross applesauce, spoons in your bowl in utero. 

First doctor's visit. We LOVED Dr. Whitaker & miss him so much!

Like Mother, like Son. #tanning

Getting our tan on. #jaundicebegone

Meeting Aunt Amanda! The Newells and Aunt Tina came to visit, meet Palmer & paint the nursery and do yard work! And watch football.

First Clemson game as #Newellpartyof3 & Clemson won!

First bath before our newborn shoot. 

Baths are tiring.

He was SO tiny.

Newborn pictures!

My Little Man

First time in his crib. It swallowed him.

Love

I just can't sometimes

Another Dr checkup for our jaundice. It didn't go well. Mommy cried. Liz trying to figure this thing out.

First day alone.

Wub snuggles.

The previous two Monday's were spent in labor at the hospital. On this Monday, we were home, cozy and cuddling. 

Mommy snuggles

All smiles for being a week old!

Love this book. We read it every Tuesday for his first month or so. HIGHLY recommend it!

Checking out this tiny thing that glows and had taken over all of the humans' attention.

The Day My Life Changed

We walked into ER on October 7 at 12:30 AM. I went straight to the desk, leaned over and kicked the ground with my toe over & over. I {think} I freaked them out a little. I don't remember a whole lot, except they moved fast, and I was grateful they brought a wheelchair. When we got to L&D, they welcomed me back, although no one really expected we would be back so soon. I remember wanting them to stop the pain again. But first, triage and undressing (I don't think I've ever changes so quick) and getting checked & taking blood... Everything but meds. All during the contractions. In the middle of contractions the nurse begged me to breathe through them. If you've never had a contraction, you don't know this but it's REALLY hard to breathe through those things. I really don't know how people give birth naturally. My two poor friends who had no choice, my heart goes out to you. But I digress. So, after being checked they found I was almost 5 cm. I remember asking if this was it or if they were going to stop it and they told me this was it. I was tired and in a ton of pain so it didn't really dawn on me that we had NOTHING ready for this baby. The organized, always has a plan, is prepared weeks in advance teacher, wasn't ready to give birth 4 weeks early. Oh well. As they wheeled me to my L&D room I asked if we had to start the epidural procedure all over again. I had just had fluids and given blood five hours ago so can't we just use that? Ahh, No. But they did give me something wonderful in the mean time and the last thing I clearly remembered was them telling me that whatever they were giving me, would make me tired and to let it. Done deal. I fell asleep immediately. I would wake up every now and then when they would come in & check me, but until the epidural came, I was out. When they came in for the epidural I remember feeling drunk. I told the nurse I could see her but nothing felt real. It was like I was dreaming. I also cheered for the anesthesiologist when he came in with my shot. You can take the girl out of cheerleading but you can't take the cheerleader out of the girl. I also let the nurse know that I really needed to go to the bathroom. She told me to just wait. I never felt the epidural go in (I was seriously drugged), could hear people around me, but didn't realize I had a catheter, but I do know I informed the nurse shortly after that I didn't need to go to the bathroom anymore. 😊 She informed me that she knew. Lol Lord I was a hot mess. I fell back asleep and for the exception of them having to move me from one side to the other because of Palmer's heart rate dropping from time to time, I didn't wake up until 5:00 when they came to check me again. {Side note, with the exception of my epidural, Mike slept the whole time.} Before I was checked, I asked if I was still having contractions. My nurse laughed and told me I was progressing beautifully. Y'all, seriously, if you have the option for an epidural, DO IT. Don't try to prove something, be pain free. Ain't no one got time for that kind of pain if it can be avoided. So I was at 8 cm & they told me they were going to break my water & that it would still be a little bit before I would deliver & that my doctor (who came on at 7) would most likely get to deliver me. At 5:30 they broke my water, at 6:10 they checked me & I was at 10. Not only was I at 10, but my nurse had Palmer's head in her hand. Yeah. So they cancelled my ice chips (I was drinking water at 6:08, didn't realize I couldn't so they ordered some ice chips) & called for the delivery team. Stat. Within seconds, there were so many people in my room, I was still in a small daze (I quickly woke up) I was prepped, Mike was texting four family, my work & maybe some friends(?). At 6:30 I started pushing, went through 6 contractions & at the last second of 6:53, Palmer Allen Newell was born. All I could do was pray that he would cry (thanks Grey's Anatomy) & he did. He was here, and crying, and tiny, and gross (sorry but babies immediately after birth are gross). They put him on me and wiped & wrapped him up. And then started doing other clean up things. Here's the thing, I've never had a baby, never been in the room with someone while giving birth, so I was new at this. But I kept looking at the nurse wondering why I had him. Doesn't he need to be weighed and all of that stuff? Apparently that's not done immediately following birth, again thanks TV. So I held him, wished him a Happy Birthday & realized the team was still in the room. Oh crap! I still have that other stuff to do. So I asked and nope. All done. I know not all births are like this. And I know that if we have another baby, it may be completely different. But dang. 

So there we were, officially Newell Party of 3. They did eventually weigh him (I may have been persistent. I wanted to know how big he was. 5.11, 19 in, aka teeny). I'll spare you the glory details that followed, but I did almost pass out when they tried to make me walk. Very shortly after, family started arriving, we were moved to our new room & our new life started. I hope to never forget that day and the week leading up to it. #thanksblogger Becoming a mom has been my biggest blessing. But watching Mike become a dad, has been even better. But that's a story for another day 😊 

Here are pictures of our first few days as a family of 3! Enjoy!

XOXO

              Sweet Newborn Baby

                       Footprints

            All clean, swaddled & cozy.

Mike holding Palmer (he held him more those first two days then I did)

You'd think he was up all night in labor or being born. I think he also slept more than me. 

First {dirty} diaper change for both of them! (JoJo helped get him started)

Officially #Newellpartyof3

💙 My first grade team. I craved Krispy Kreme pretty much my entire pregnancy, but especially my first trimester.

     My sweet baby boy. Our first selfie.

                  Newborn Pictures

     One of my favorites. Pondering life.

Aunt Stephanie & Uncle Joe came to visit.

               Flowers from OGES.

               I'm going home today!

I think the SM was really 9m. His going home outfit was a tad to big. 

So we went with Plan B: A gown. Which was still to big.

My glow worm sitting criss cross applesauce. Our first night at home.